I want to be a part of this research! I’ve long been fascinated by the “white mom having” vs. “black mom having” biracial experience. One similarity I can glean from my own “black mom having” experience and what is written in this article about that of the white mothers is the scrutiny. I vividly remember my mother’s parenting being scrutinized by the mothers of my white classmates and some of the school faculty as well.
Do Racist Attitudes Hinder Mothers Of Mixed-Race Children?
via, Adapted from materials provided by University of Royal Holloway London, via AlphaGalileo.
Professor Ravinder Barn and Dr Vicki Harman from the Centre for Criminology and Sociology at Royal Holloway, University of London are carrying out research into white mothers of mixed-race children. It is part of a wider study of mixed-race children and young people that has spanned more than two decades.
Parenting as an activity has become the focus for much concern at a policy and academic level, and the experiences of white women mothering mixed-race children is also receiving considerable attention.
Globalisation and migration are playing key roles in determining the social and familial landscape of contemporary western societies. Government statistics in the UK, Canada and the USA point to the increasing racial and cultural heterogeneity and the growth of the mixed-race population. Although many of these families lead relatively trouble-free lives, there is evidence of vulnerability and disadvantage for others in a number of areas including education, health, social care and the criminal justice system.
New and ongoing research was presented at a one day inter-disciplinary research conference, organised by Professor Barn and Dr Harman to disseminate the findings to those working with inter-racial families and to determine the research agenda of the future.
“In the academic and popular discourse, there is now a concern that ‘mixed families’ have become problematised. White mothers in these settings are often subjected to a racialised critical social gaze in a way that their parenting is placed under scrutiny,” said Professor Barn.
Dr Harman added, “Although the growing number of mixed relationships have been suggested to be evidence of a more tolerant society, social significance continues to be attached to relationships involving people from different ethnic backgrounds. White mothers of mixed-parentage children can find themselves dealing with racism directed at their children as well as facing social disapproval themselves”.
The six papers presented at the event explored a range of areas including: the mixed-race landscape in the Canadian context, common themes amongst families experiencing social service involvement, the need to understand the social networks utilized by white mothers in mixed families and historical research looking at government archives to understand the ways in which white women’s role in nation building had been marginalized.
my mom is white, and she often says racist things about blacks even though she depends on them at times at work, such as needing a ride from them.
she tries to ignore the fact that i am half black, maybe that is her way of making herself feel better about being racist.
my sister is basically a self hater because my ultra-conservative white family bad mouths blacks. my mom isn’t an ultra conservative and would be a democrat if she voted and all (she doesn’t), but it still irks me when she insults blacks.
i keep having to remind her that I happen to be half black and to this American society I am a black person, and that people like her keeps contributing to the hard times i have to deal with because of racism.
she doesn’t care…all she cares about is how whites have to suffer because blacks want equal treatment.
i am amazed that i came out of my self hating state considering what i have to deal with when it comes to family…too bad my sister refuses to.
the colorblind theory that whites want to use is not working. it just turned my mom off of dealing with racism. condoning it is just as bad as doing it.
My mom is white, my dad is bi-racial, my parents are divorced. I’m pretty sure the only reason my mom dated my dad was to be “daring” and to have a cute mixed kid. I really resent that still. I think a lot of white women want mixed kids cause they are in style and “so cute”. Its really irresponsible and takes advantage of their children. Not only that, most of them can’t take care of mixed hair, let alone help them with their racial identity, which is really frustrating. I think a lot of insecure white women look for inclusion in the black community by having a mixed child, but never really find it because even many mixed children aren’t included in the black community themselves.
R , mixed kids are welcome in the black community, but they could tell if the childs mother is white because white women dont know how to take care of afro type hair…but you may be right about people having children by blacks or whites, because they want a tan baby…Sometimes the kids are very light with kinky hair and black features..
i also know a white woman with twins that comes from a racist family—her cousins and aunts hardly recognized the girls (sigh) the family ‘lightened up’ later but it was too late; the twins want nothing to do with THEM. The mother still lives with the father and they never married: (20 yrs of living together without a marriage license).The girls have boyfriends now that are mixed themselves but they are from healthier families
I have 2 mixed children- 4 and 6. I am caucasian and their father is Haitian. We are married and even tho I don’t think it really matters, we were married before getting pregnant. Neither child was planned, but loved nevertheless. They are strikingly beautiful. I say nothing about race bc I don’t consider them to be black or white. They are humans. They have never been, nor have I, approached about their race in a negative way. Their teachers tell me they are very intelligent. They have classmates of various cultures even tho the area is predominantly white. I don’t teach them a certain culture nor a certain way to act or be. I allow them to be what they choose. It truly is a shame that there seems to be a need for many people to use labels. I will say that my husband and I have been separated for years and my children live solely with me. This means they spend more time with my caucasian side of the family, but still see their Haitian relatives. Both families are loving and supportive. My immediate family are my babysitters. Even my grandmother, who I have heard say she does not condone interracial relationships previously, loves my children and treats them wonderfully. She also accepts the childrens father. I suppose I have been lucky to not have racial issues. I hope for the future everyone realizes that we all are mixed in one way or another and that none of that matters. :0) Best to all
This white moms need to take better care of their mixed childs hair is ridiculus! I am a white mom of a mixed child. My husband and have a beautiful 2 yr old daughter. If you asked me how to do her hair I would have to say I am still trying to figure it out. I have asked black women for help & because her hair is not as course as most black ppl it hasnt really been very helpful. So please ppl who want to complain write a book or instruction manual. Although I am not black no one could love my black husband and daughter more than me. I just dont know where to start when it comes to my daughters hair. Deal with it or help out.
I am a mom of three mixed kids. I feel that all of the comments we get about how we don’t know what to do with mixed kids hair is a form of racism. Why is it that I can’t have a conversation with a black woman with out them feeling it necessary to give me advice of one thing or another? When sometimes my daughters hair looks better and neater then theirs???? I thinks it’s just a way to get a jab in any way they can. It’s not right it’s true we are all mixed with something, the only person who’s not mixed is an inbreed and who want’s to be that??? Why would any one have a kid “just for the features”? That’s ridiculous If you feel like that you have your own issues with who you are. Oh and by the way a parent’s real priority should not be the kids hair, but if the kid is happy and healthy yes neat and then looks good but that’s not the priority.
I am “mixed” or a woman of colour or Black. Yes, all these as the world has changed over the years. Born in the 50′s (Montreal, Quebec, Canada) I have seen and heard it all. My mother is White and Catholic and French Canadian (with eastern european ancestry and american ancestry). My father was (he died in the 60′s) “coloured” and today would be referred to as Black by most, however this is not entirely accurate. My father was Native American and African American and British, Irish, Scottish and Dutch ancestry. He was Protestant/Spiritual and English speaking. As you can see race is not as simple as black and white. BTW, mullato is insulting and bi-racial (two races only) excludes people like myself who have a mixed race ancestry. You can’t tell by looking at someone’s skin colour. Hence the term “mixed” or coloured (an almost forgotten term in Canada) which is more accurate.
Unless and until you are familiar with the history of Blacks in North America and race relations in your City, Province and Country then you are at a loss in raising children of African American, African Canadian, Carribean or Black backgrounds. It is about culture and socialization which is different in each group, language and occasionally religion.
Bye the way, there is no such thing as half black/half white, or 1/3 this or that. You are what you are and who you are. You identify with those most like you racially, socially and culturally. White mothers who have lived in a white environment, are socialized white and culturally white are at a loss to be able to fully understand what it is to walk int he shoes of their children who are of mixed race. I have had many conversation with my own white mother who still is surprised at what I experience as a woman of colour in today’s world and in the city in which I live.
As I have fair coloured eyes and my skin colour is no longer brown (like Michael Jackson my skin colour has lightened over the years, but my hair colour has darkened), I am well spoken and as I have no carribean roots and am born in Canada (like my parents, and grandparents, and great-grandparents, and great great grandparents) I have no accent I have been privy to more racial slurrs and racial remarks than I care to remember.
My mother discouraged me from dating Blacks and does not consider herself racist. She did not make any effort to teach me about my roots or my fathers family. If you choose to have children with another person from another country, another race, another culture you owe it to your children to teach them all about it. Racism is alive and well in the world and if you think you can burry your head in the sand and think your Black children do not have to deal with racism because YOU are white or they are human beings…. you are fooling yourself. There are racists out there and you have to educate your children on how to deal with racism. Being white you are naturally at a disadvantage never having to cope with racism growing up and in the ways that your children will have to.
I married a man of colour and have Black children (not bi-racial or mixed). I know from where I speak. White mothers are at a disadvantage and sadly they will pass the disadvantage on to their children if they do not educate themselves on race relations. When you see a black person you don’t think is their mother white or black. I can tell you after speaking with a person of colour I can tell in the way they are socialized. Inside the Black community (which is a rainbow) we know. Good luck!
I think it is important for white mothers of mixed black/white children to reach out to the black side of that child’s family if at all possible or black friends for guidance. Learn about the black side of your child’s heritage so you can be informed. Make sure your child has black dolls, black magazines, etc. and is exposed to their culture whatever that may be. Make sure they know that black is beautiful, that they are beautiful. Like the previous poster said, this colorblind talk is nice in theory, but it sounds like cultureblind coming from white folks. There is nothing WRONG with being black any more than there is anything wrong with being white. Your child will learn plenty about whiteness. Make sure they learn about being black.
To Ashley…if you don’t know how to do your daughter’s hair, then you should LEARN instead of being defensive.
Biracial children can have hair of different textures. Some have straight or wavy hair, some have tight curls, some have frizzy hair, and some have kinky hair.
Different hair types require different kinds of care. BTW…I am a biracial woman with “coarse” hair, as you referred to it.
It depends on your daughter’s individual hair type. Learn how to take care of it. The Internet can be very helpful.
To Melissa…no, it is NOT racist to say that many white mothers don’t know how what to do with the hair of their mixed-race children.
It is often true. Does this mean that the white mothers are bad people or that they don’t love their kids? No. But it means that they need to be more understanding about issues like this.
Learn how to apply conditioners and cremes to keep your child’s hair healthy. Tell them that their hair, their skin, and their heritage is beautiful. Don’t pretend to be “colorblind”. Be realistic about the world around you. Remind them that they are wonderful no matter what anyone says.
There will always be people, from the playground to the office, who will try to make them feel ashamed of who they are. Instill confidence and a sense of self-worth.
im wondering how/why U have a pick of me and my parents as a part of this blog?
hi. i don’t know exactly, but i have to assume it was a random google image search that led me to the picture. would you like me to take it down? i’m sorry if this has upset you in any way!!
nah u dont have to pull it… i have people using my images for nefarious reasons all over the net… this is def not one of those instances… u can continue to use it (just act like its this is all new and ask for permission lol) its all good
.. btw, thats ennes, cecil (deceased) and me, albert…
ohhh annnnd, my mom had NO idea what to do with my hybrid hair… i didnt learn how really get the most out of my hair till i got into my 30′s
I am a devoted white mother to 8 Native American children. I am filing a “no-fault” divorce .Upon divorce, my husband plans to immediatley move to his reservation where, they have their own laws. I am terrified he will take our children and I will never be able to get off that federal land. we have lived in our little town just over 5 yrs. the kids attend school and church here, they are a part of the native american programs at school and are well knitted into this community. Neither of us has family close except he has one native sister and her non native husband living in a nearby town. please help me. i do not wish to keep him away from his children, they love their dad.. i just dont want to lose them to a land exempt from most of our laws…due to race. what can i do? where do i start? please help me or send me to someone who can! thank you, H. Crawford
yea i came across this thread on google and just decided to read it. i’m really glad both my parents are white because i do not have any confusion. i don’t think i could stand being half one race and half another. I feel bad for some of your kids. its called identity… they have to pick one side of the family to associate with. either they become stupid ass ghetto blacks or they become self hating blacks. neither of which are good so i would wish none of that on my children. you all are just selfish, mixed children just sounds terrible. and some dumb post said make sure your children hear about ‘black’ stuff (like BET, black dolls, black magazines, etc.)… well that’s dumb because they are half black and that shows up more physically, so they are more likely to associate themselves with being black. their schools will help them plenty enough with realizing why white people are the devil and blacks are god’s people so don’t worry too much about that. these posts reinforced much of my racism, so enjoy breeding out the white race that built this country and enjoy medicare/medicaid/food stamps/ & other welfare programs now, because after the whites are gone… who the fuck will pay for that shit the entire black community enjoys the benefits from?
And too think that this all came from a google search of whether of not jason kidd was half black or white. thanks a lot for ruining my day
there was study done on Black mothers and their experience with racism and how it affects their birth. The babies born of Black women were more likely to have low birth weight/ higher infant mortality even when you controlled for health, education and income. So basically the white mothers in the study go through what Black women have always gone through and continue to go through…regardless of the race of the father, but the wombs of Black mothers are not prized the same as white mothers in general.
i am mixed race i was raised by my white mother in a white community in the north of England. There were no other races around me no Asian no Indian no Arabian no black nothing just Caucasian. i suffered racism and ignorance everyday i was mentally brutalized stereotyped judged and labelled. i didn’t know what a comfort zone was. i didn’t know how to express what i was feeling and became very bitter and resentful. i was treated by my family as a white kid in a black body almost like i had a disease for example i heard constantly “we love you just the same as the other kids even though you’re black”. school friends would say “we just see you as normal” so black was put out there as a set back. by the time i was a teenager i was fighting daily with the world i was tired and worn down. i would never fit in i would never feel accepted and at this point i no longer wanted to. Being called a nigger or a black bastard was normal to me and no longer had an effect when i did try to talk to my family the reaction i got was anger and my family acted as though i was ungrateful even paranoid. needles to say at 15 i hopped on a train to the city and never looked back i have minimal contact with my family now. i live in a very diverse community. i have children of my own that are mixed although one has “the white advantage” and i will live where they are comfortable so far they have not been the victim of any racial slurs. although because of my one child’s light complexion some children ask how can that be your mom if you are white. ignorance is barely tolerable but i believe it is part of every society. As a mother of any color or race it is your obligation to protect your child. my mother failed me. If she would have moved out of her comfort zone into a community that at least had some other races maybe my childhood would not have been so traumatizing. but she would not even attend an all black event because she would feel awkward but i was expected to deal with this everyday as a child????
me i am filipino,irsh,scottish,dutch,puerto rican on my dad side and jamaican,haitian,dominican,and native american on my mom’s side!
yea and my cousin is caucasian,spanish and black
me i am scottish,dominican,armenian,danish and haitian also i was born in haiti!
Iwish I could take a horsewhip to all the stupid,filthy sleazy dirty rotten white bitches fucking niggers and making these hideous mullattoes!!!!! Fuck you all you welfare parasites!! Why dont you move to africa or Haiti if you love niggerz so much:Get out of my country you flLthy cunts!DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i am mixed i was born 1986 in west memphis arkansas. i grew up not knowing but i was raised by the most wonderfull people.thay i see as my family. i got the age of 21 and sumthang didnt set rite with me. and i ask my mom and she told me kuz it botherd me and found out i was adopted.and all i know is she white.and she gave me up kuz her dad was racies.but it bothers me to this day.and i alwayz keep telling myself she might be looking for me.and one day i will see her.and my father that i do not know. but to my mom and dad that raise me form the age of 4months i love u so much and thanks for being there.i need ur help if u kan to help me find that peace in my life that i need.
d jackson you are not afro american ..but you are a fool……all of us should go back to africa thats where we all came from including you .
Greetings:
You are invited to read a fresh, fascinating and timely contribution to the current topical issue of inter-racial families.
Johnny Williams, a debonair likeable young graduate student, raised by a loving adoptive elderly couple started his life journey as an abandoned one day-old, in a basket left at a Westchester church-front. His birth mother was a teenage blond blue-eyed student who returned to her university in California; unable to find peace, even later as a professional magazine editor. Due to Johnny’s hair being peculiarly tangled from birth, he’s forced to permanently keep his hair in braids and to adopt the name DADA because he firmly believes his birth mother must have been from West Africa. His university degree course in Social Anthropology may have been subconsciously driven by his burning desire to find the mother that abandoned him at birth. His fascination with the Yoruba culture leads him on some adventurous travels with many twists and turns while he is also privileged to meet and make friends with some elderly intellectuals along the way.
JOURNEY OF HOPE OR DESTINY adopts Yoruba philosophical worldview to narrate a story that reflects the global influence of race and social construct on different cultures.
The insightful new eBook title is published by Amazon Kindle eBook. Please visit:
JOURNEY OF HOPE OR DESTINY -Phenomenon that refuses to die
You may also borrow to read from the Kindle Owners’ Lending Library on Amazon.com, Amazon.co.uk, Amazon.de and Amazon.fr.
It is an ideal eBook title as supplementary reading in Social Anthropology, Sociology and Humanities.
Best Regards
Raymond Ladebo
My mother is white and my fahter is a coloured man!Now I’m just trying to figure out what race am I?.Can anyone help me please?
You are a mixed race person or you may be able to present yourself as one or the other. The best thing I would do is be all you can be and create yourself to be all you want to be and more. Most inportant is how you feel, how you treat other people and what legacy will you leave after you are gone to the other world.
I am white, my boyfriend is black and I live in Alabama. I just had a beautiful little girl named Lizzy on December 20th, and I have many questions about the future. Although I am nervous about some of the obstacles my little southern interracial family will face, I don’t worry because my boyfriend and I know what we are up against down here. I will just teach her that she is unique and beautiful. I plan to raise a very open minded well versed young lady and I know it can only get easier with experience. And the little hair situation…. Her hair is soft and curly so far, so I’m just going to find a shampoo/conditioner line for mixed curls and see how it goes. Some white women can’t even do their white kids hair, so I think that just has to do with being lazy. Trial and error is the only way to learn sometimes. As for the racist mo fos… I wish everybody was open minded but some people will just remain ignorant. All I can do is pray for them! Worry about your own children and don’t criticize mine!!! And the BS about just wanting to have cute children??? I love my boyfried for who he is, not his genetic contribution to my child. Even though she IS the most beautiful little girl on the planet.
Peace and love!
I have combed through an insurmountable amount of comments and quite frankly am exausted. As a mother of biracial children, I am still at a loss for the ignorance observed on both sides of this debate. There are two major contributing factors that are essential to teach these children.
First, we are defined not by the color of our skin. We are spiritual and humanity. Therefore those that are superficial and make presuppositions as such are not secure within themselves. My children know that our souls are translucent, when saved they are luminous like a star. Leaving the bonds of flesh where we are not divided by such nominal attributes. Those of every race, tribe, nation are all one in humanity. We do not live in the bitter bondage of striving for purpose based on flesh, but that of spirit. Hate has no place in the hearts and minds of those reaching for higher ground.
Second, history falsely taught has strengthen the divide. Out of over 200 thousand men women and children who came to support Martin Luther King Jr during his speech in DC, almost half were white. Many of those who supported the civil rights movement were white women. White women just fought that battle themselves. They were treated like chattel, husbands could beat their wives to death and suffer little to no consequense as they were viewed as property as well. MLK is portrayed as only a civil rights leader. But what got him killed was his anti war sentiments. He knew JFK was killed for coming out against these secret societies that are running the world today. MLK saw this was a war on poor blacks/whites/minorities in America. At every turn I see history being covered up by those who wish us to forget. Who took land by force from Native Americans Who have used Asians to build the railroads for the rockafellers, who used poor whites to pump oil for Standard oil, who used blacks as slaves and white men as indentured servants, who used poor Europeans, Irish, Polish etc to facilitate the industrial revelation, who funded JP Morgans dynasty. When we hate, they win. You fools bicker about race as if we were not part of humanity, while they send our children off to war under the pretense of sovereignty. No such thing, they place our children in harms way because they make trillions off war and hate. The Rothschilds/bankers fund both sides of the war. They keep us so busy hating each other and ourselves because it is profitable for them. I refuse to stoop to such a level.
As a nurse I love all my patients. We are born in the skin we are, we bleed, cry, hurt die all the same. I do not press upon the past. You can not fly if you are chained to the torment of the past. We look forward with great fortitude, pressing on to the goal that is before us in this lifetime. How quickly we are willing to take up arms instead of peace, hate in place of understanding. In turn we teach our children the differences and superiority or inferiority. As a single white woman with biracial children, the rejection comes from both races, but more so from blacks. As I tell my children, it is no ones fault if you do not succeed in this life but your own. Just because you do not have a father does not give you liberty to fail. White, black, purple, pink, you can and will if you set your mind to do such. If you stumble, get back up. If you feel defeated you will be. Success in not a measure of wealth, but that of character and moral conviction. Children of all races blame their problems and failures on another, because that is what they see modeled. Society lacks the ability to cope and take responsability for the outcome of their actions. This is what mothers/fathers really need to be teaching our children.
It is assumed because I am white, I had it easy. I had/have less help than most single mothers of both ethnicities. I have little to no extended family and had to figure out for myself how to provide for these children. I went to work and school, my children in daycare 70 hours a week. My strength was in the Father, my mind set firm on the things above. The stereotypes of the weakness of women are appauling. Women would do better to come together than facilitate this dissent. While we are independent, we need to respect the good men that are out there. We need to reject superficiality, strengthen self image. Men place expectations on women to look a certain way and cast them off as trash, yet these men end up with a stroke or incapacitated, they expect the same women to care for them. Women using their bodies to seduce faithful men from their wives. I say all this because it starts with the parents actions and responses. We have very real character issues that need to be addressed instead of mindless superficial banter about unkept hair or tonation of skin. If we are unhappy with the pool of men/women in society, then we must raise up children with moral integrity instead of lamenting the current state.
To some of the single mothers of biracial children, I know. The struggle is filled with rejection and assumptions on many a part. I teach my children to identify with faith and leadership, not a race. The most important beauty is inner beauty. You yourselves are not damaged goods, but a becon of universal love. If I or you are to be ostracised and withheld love and exceptance because of the choice to marry without constraint, latter to find our spouse was unable to succumb to the outside pressures as well, so be it. The inner strength of this burden you shoulder alone will make you stronger if you allow it. As I tell my children, a beautiful diamond is formed under the most intensive pressure. They to will shine and be a becon of hope for humanity.