Posted in biracial, faith, race on December 28, 2008 |
15 Comments »
When one doesn’t remember how to log in and add a new entry, they have clearly neglected their blog for WAY too long! Sorry if anyone’s been disappointed by my absence. I figure it’s the holidays and all, so I’m hoping it’s forgivable if it’s even been noticed. And I know a couple of people have noticed. Thanks for the gentle prodding. I’m still visiting my family for the holidays and it’s always so hectic. In a good way, I guess. So many people to see, things to do, etc. On the other hand I always feel like I’m disappointing someone every single second that I’m here because I can only be so many places at one time. Anyway, I just watched Slumdog Millionaire and I simply loved it! Please go see it, if you haven’t already. It is so beautiful (in a gritty, painful way), and inspiring. I actually was a contestant on “millionaire” quite a few years ago. Seeing that set and hearing that music always elevates my heart rate a bit, so at times this movie really had me on the edge of my seat. It also left me full of faith and gratitude and awe. It reassured me that all of the things that I’ve been through that were less than pleasant (downright painful some of them-but nothing like Jamal’s), and all of those that I have yet to face, are leading me to my destiny. “It is written.” It is written that I be born biracial. That my black mother and white father divorced and I began to see things in black or white. It is written that I witness the joys and the sorrows of both of these worlds and have come to realize without a doubt that we’re all cut from the same cloth, so to speak, and that the things “they” tell us to keep us separate are illusions of this world. That I find the pursuit of banishing them (the illusions meant to separate, not the people perpetuating them for that is just a habit they learned) to the nothingness from whence they came to be my deepest passion and most fulfilling endeavor must be written. I never looked ahead and saw this chapter coming. I had no idea. But it is written.
Read Full Post »
Posted in race on December 18, 2008 |
5 Comments »
I’m sitting in the hotel room again. Feeling grateful for coffee, room service, the grace of God, the power of positive thinking, my job, my dog (and those caring for him while I’m away), my family, my friends, and my self. I did pause before typing “my self”. Is that something I should not be grateful for? It felt kinda weird to write. Like it’s egotistical. But I should be grateful for my self and I think it ties back into the grace of God thing, because I believe that without the grace of God I wouldn’t be my self. Well, I wouldn’t be the parts of my self that I am grateful for anyway. I’ll have to get comfortable with that. Kinda like being comfortable saying I’m “white and black” instead of ”black and white” if someone asked. What’s the difference, anyway? The chat went well yesterday! They did ask me to “come back”! And my dog is more than ok. I think positive ‘what if’s’ are essential and I’ll be training myself to indulge in them and eradicate the negatives. Let’s see what happens…
Read Full Post »
Posted in race on December 17, 2008 |
7 Comments »
I’m sitting in a hotel room in Buffalo, NY right now waiting for two things. Well, actually three or four. I’ve had a long day already, filled with anxiety about airports, airplanes, leaving the dog, working with a new car, spending the whole day one on one with my boss (who is great, but it’s still a little intimidating), and that was just the beginning. Now I’m anticipating my chat with the Mixed Chicks (which I will be having in the car while my boss is driving us to the event tonight). I’ve been anticipating this chat for a while now. So looking forward to it. But what if I choke? What if I sound stupid? What if my dog has to pee and I’m not home to take him out? What if? What if? What if? This is the record playing in my head a lot. And I’ve noticed that the “what if’s” are usually not positive. What if I could change all the “what if’s” around to something like “What if we have the best biracial conversation ever?” “What if there is so much to say, that they have to ask me to chat again?” “What if Oprah is listening today and calls me tomorrow offering to produce my documentary?” “What if Indy is having a great day and is really more than ok at home without me for 36 hours?” Just a thought…
Read Full Post »
Posted in race on December 16, 2008 |
11 Comments »
Hi. Not sure what to write or how to start these things, but I am looking forward to seeing how it shapes up. It was 65 degrees in NYC yesterday. Today, I woke up at 6:30 to hail and 38 degree temp. Now it is snowing. Like really snowing. Weird. And unfortunate because (well for many reasons, but) I have to take my dog, Indy, to the groomer this morning and by the time we get home he’ll probably be dirty from the slush on the ground. Don’t worry, I wouldn’t dream of making Indy walk home in the weather. Mostly because Indy wouldn’t dream of doing it. He’ll be in the stroller til we get to our block, but then he’ll have to get out to tend to some “business.” I have such anxiety about these grooming days. Today we’re going to try a new place. They seem nice and professional. But then they always do at first. It’s funny that some of the more blatantly racially charged experiences I’ve had in NYC have been at a frickin’ dog groomer. Actually, it’s not funny. I would be anxious anyway, because that’s just how I operate, but knowing that my dog will probably be treated better if my white male roommate takes him to the groomer kinda sends me over the edge. And here I was wondering what on earth I’d write this morning and doubting that it would have anything to do with race. I am looking forward to writing about whatever on here tho and not being so consumed with black and white. Seems like I just can’t get away from it tho. For now.
Read Full Post »
Posted in race, tagged picture on December 15, 2008 |
3 Comments »
Posted in biracial on December 15, 2008 |
13 Comments »
Well…in an effort to turn a highly unproductive day into a less of a waste I have started this blog. I have been meaning to do this for some time now, as I have realized that some things are better written and read than spoken and heard in a video. Every time I try to make a video about some “biracial revelation” I’ve written in a journal, it just doesn’t sound right. So this is where I’ll be posting those things I guess. I also guess that I should not assume that this blog will be automatically linked in the reader’s mind (or on the internet) to my Vlog on YouTube. My name is Tiffany. I am biracial. Specifically I have a Black mother and a White father. For years I bought into the idea that this meant that I was black. Then I came to my senses some twenty years later. Now I’m on a crusade to spread the word. The word that “Black” is not a taint that cancels out all other. The word that because my father (grandmother, grandfather, cousins, uncles) is white, then so am I. And even if I don’t look white, I still have a right to claim my heritage without shame or even hesitation. I am not on a crusade to create a separate race. There is already separation enough amongst us. For the most part I am not concerned with having a special box to check. I want to get rid of the boxes. The only thing I can think of doing to start us on that path is talking about race openly, honestly, kindly, compassionately, and with sensitivity to the feelings, thoughts, and experiences of others. My goodness this is wordy. I suppose that’s what this is all about though. Hopefully I’ll get used to it. I think I will. Stay tuned….
Read Full Post »